I want to party like it’s 2009…

My social life is not what it once was. I think most people my age could say the same thing. However, I feel that because I don’t have children or a demanding job that limits the amount of free time I have, I should be able to participate in the same social activities I have in the past. Thus exacerbating the situation- I have all the time in the world (exaggeration) to socialize but what I don’t have is access to the social situations I enjoy.

For me, a big part of my mental wellbeing stems from spending quality time with my husband and my friends. Although I do like some alone time every now and then, I am definitely more of a social person. For the past year my social circle has dwindled down to just a few people and the activities I used to enjoy regularly are pretty much nonexistent.

I have been fortunate that as I have moved around the country I never had to struggle finding or making a group of friends that shared my interests. At one point I had a great group of friends in San Antonio but because of the Army they have all left the area. Now, I am stuck trying to find that same connection with people and have hit a brick wall when it comes to making new friends.

I miss game nights, parties (especially ones including beer pong), group camping trips, BBQs, dressing up for Halloween, Super Bowl (or really any big sports event) parties, New Years celebrated in the company of friends, holiday gift exchanges, book club, etc.. I miss laughing until it hurts and inside jokes. I could go on and on about all of the fun things I miss doing but what I really miss just being part of a group. For me, these groups of friends have always been my family.

I think if maybe I had crappier friends and boring experiences in the past I wouldn’t have this problem. Thanks guys for being so awesome you make it next to impossible to find replacements. I do have two very close friends here; so I am not saying I am sitting around bored out of my mind. I am just saying I miss having a group of close knit friends- the kind of friends where it doesn’t matter the social setting or activity you just know you will have fun.

This is my dilemma. In the past, my circles of friends were co-workers or classmates or even Paul’s Army buddies and I found them because of my circumstances. Now, I don’t know where to look to expand my social circle. The average age of my coworkers has to be in the 50’s and although they are kind and wonderful people I don’t think I will be partying with them any time soon. Paul is only friends with one of his co-workers and his wife is already one of my two (local) friends. I just don’t know where to go to make new friends.

So, how do I fix this? Do I post an ad on craigslist- “desperately seeking friends” which really isn’t an option because I don’t want to get murdered? Do I just start approaching random people in bookstores, grocery stores, hockey games and try to start up conversations? Or do I just accept that maybe the only wine parties in my near future will be via twitter?

I welcome any and all recommendations as I know most of my readers, all four of you, have been in a similar situations. I am open to any/all options including coaxing you all to move here for my entertainment- I have no problems using brut force if needed.

Thanks for reading!


February 22, 2011. Tags: , , . Social Life.

One Comment

  1. jakennicksmomma replied:

    I hear you loud and clear!!! I have kinda given up on looking for new friends, isn’t that sad. THe military just keeps ripping close friends away and its too daunting to think of establishing new friendships just to again be seperated!!!

    To tie in your last post, I met a really good friend during a work out class. While M. was deployed I did a stroller workout and met a great gal with a daughter the same age as J. We hit it off and are still close even though she is now out on the east coast.

    Hang in there girl, you are a great friend to have so Im sure you will find other good people out there with similar interests.

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