Just thought you should know- today sucks!

Today has been one of those days where every little thing is frustrating me. It was a combination of condescending remarks, irritating know-it-alls, and unruly small appliances all mixed in with my raging PMS. It’s truly been a thrill a minute. It has seemed to go by in a rushed blur and it is nice to sit down in the peace and quiet of my empty apartment and relax a bit while I type this up. However, there is no calm going on in this mind. My body may have stopped moving but my mind just won’t turn off.

My mind was so scattered today that I unsuccessfully wrote up seven different blog posts. I don’t know if I was frustrated because I couldn’t concentrate or I couldn’t concentrate because I was frustrated but whatever was going on in my head was not working. Days like these are the worst and I am thankful when they are over. Sometimes I feel more worn out from mentally stressful days than from physically stressful days.

As I type this I can’t help but still feel the same stress I left work with. All of my anxiety of the day is being further compounded by the fact that in a few minutes I will leave to go to the gym; a place where I do not feel comfortable going.  It’s not even the working out part that bothers me; it is the feeling that everyone is judging me.

My inability to relax and my sometimes crippling insecurities have really taken a toll on my life. I tend to be extra bitchy towards my husband and my parents- sometimes even my friends get a dose of it, too. I have been known to cancel plans because I feel so shitty about myself I cannot rationalize why anyone would want to spend time with me. And I have let my fear of the gym, well really the fear of judgment from healthy fit people; stop me from taking care of myself.  

Since the intention of this blog is to help me improve my life I am turning to you for advice and guidance on this. So today I ask you, my loyal band of readers, how do you relax? How do you let go of your stressors? What makes you feel comfortable in your own skin?

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February 24, 2011. Tags: , , . Relaxation.

7 Comments

  1. ambers0182 replied:

    Oh Dacia! im sorry today sucks… Im hoping tomorrow will be better for you. So… here is my advice, i recently heard this somewhere… even when we think everyone is looking at us, and judging us, they are really so self consumed with themselves, they most likely do not even notice other people around them. So even though the Gym can be a very scary place, try to think of it in those terms… Go for you, ignore everyone else working out and just think that doing this is going to make your life better. Its going to make you feel better about everything. Then after, enjoy your accomplishment. I used to feel the same way about the gym, then one day i decided i just didnt give a damn. I get all sweaty and gross and my face looks like a tomato, but i feel good!

    Now… on to relaxing 🙂 I turn on my favorite song, and i dance around my house like crazy. I BLARE the music and just let it all go, and go nuts! Its fun and relaxing and it helps me. Then i also am a total girl and take bubble baths… i light candles, put on relaxing music, put a hot rag over my eyes and forget my problems for just a little while. My last trick for relaxation is meditating/stretching. I have been trying to do this every night and every morning. I looked up poses and stretches online and they make me feel like I am doing something good for my body and spirit. 🙂 Hope this helps…

  2. monicaams replied:

    Dacia I’m so sorry that today has been awful for you. When I’m having a crap day and start to feel helpless I think of something my Mom once told me, “I may not have gotten my miracle today but I am 1 day closer then I was yesterday.” Remember tomorrow is a new day and will be better. I know that feeling of dreading the gym and feeling like all those super fit people are judging you, but I also know…who cares! It’s not like those people will ever be in your life or that you’ll ever really seem them again. What’s important is that you’re there and trying…everything else is crap. 🙂
    Relaxing/destress I love to blast my ipod a good song always makes me feel better. Or just going for a drive to no where really or a walk a nice quite walk just me and my thoughts. I think on all the wonderful blessings God has given me in my life.
    Please know that I am so very happy and blessed to have you in my life. And I ALWAYS want to hang out with you! 🙂

  3. jamesandjax replied:

    I always feel like I am being judged, so I can relate to how you feel at the gym. I felt that way when I went to gyms years ago, too. As you know, now that I’m a mom, I KNOW that most of the choices I make ARE being judged by other moms. So I’m starting to develop a “who the eff cares” attitude. Granted, it’s slowly developing. And it usually takes someone really pissing me off to get me to the point of not even caring what that person thinks anymore. I think you should try adopting more of a “who cares” attitude about things.

    How I relax is easy–bubble bath & book. When I’m reading, I can’t think about everything on my mind. When I’m in the tub, I can’t try to do 10 things at once. It literally stops me in my tracks and keeps me sitting still and calm for a half hour or so. If you’re not a bubble bath person, what about swimming? I think you mentioned that you like going to the pool–can you find one that can be used year-round? Then you can skip the gym altogether AND relieve stress at the same time by being in water.

    I hope you’re having a better day today. I also hope you saved those 7 blog posts as drafts so you can make something out of them later! 🙂

  4. jakennicksmomma replied:

    Along with everyone else Im sorry you are having a cruddy day.

    I 100% know how you feel about the gym. Then I realized, when I see an unfit person working out in the gym or anywhere I always think good for them. You have to start somewhere. Everyone is at the gym to work out. So be proud that you are there while there are tons of people sitting on their butts not doing a thing (as I look away…lol). You are motivating me to try and get out for a walk here before it gets too chilly.

    For the relaxing, my vote is for a good book. Something to take you away to another place. I am reading “My Life in France” by Julia Child and am loving it. If I ever can squeeze 5 min in to read I do it! The other thing I like is going for a nice long walk. I haven’t been able to do a long one in a while, but its always a time where I can refect and get my thoughts in order when there is too much going on.

    Hang in there! I hope the weekend goes better for you.

    • Dacia replied:

      I just picked up “My LIfe in France” at a library sale. I can’t wait to read it. It is currently number three on my reading list.

  5. hookerchick replied:

    Wine!!! Lots and lots of wine!!! At least that’s what I’m doing today to relax today. I’m sure I’ll have a more appropriate response when I’m sober, but for now I recommend a nice bottle of wine. 🙂 (and maybe a phone call to me)

  6. Dacia replied:

    Wow! Such great feedback on this post! I think I am going to blast my ipod, while drinking wine, and metitating all in a bubble bath while reading a book!

    Seriously, though- you guys are awesome and have really helped me through this stuff.

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