Today was a good day

I would like to start today’s blog by saying thank you. I don’t think that I could have imagined that after five days of blogging I would already be seeing a change in myself. Your kind words are constant reminders to me how lucky I am to have this support group behind me. Your words of encouragement fuel my desire to continue on this journey no matter how hard things might get. I look forward to every day where I can connect with you and share a piece of myself. As I sometimes feel like I have not contributed much to this world, that I am yet to make my mark, this blog- even if it only reaches five people- makes me feel part of something bigger than myself. Maybe I am not curing cancer but instead I am helping to strengthen my friendships and maybe along the way I might even create new ones. And that, my friends, is more than I could have hoped for. I love you guys!

I didn’t intend this blog to be all about my weight/health/wellness but right now it looks like that is the direction it is heading. I am ok with this because really it is all connected. I don’t think it is possible to change one aspect of your life without a ripple effect. Maybe most days I will write about my (small) accomplishments and the goals I am setting for myself but I know there will be times where I talk about my infertility issues, my crappy(ish) job, or whatever else is on my mind that day. Today, however, my mind was all about kicking some ass at the gym last night!

My scheduled workout routine for yesterday was intervals, 5 minutes walking, 30 seconds jogging, for 33 minutes and let me just tell you I was scared. You might think that 30 seconds of jogging is no big deal but for me it was a HUGE deal. I cannot tell you the last time I jogged- I didn’t even know if my legs could move fast enough. I kid you not; the fear of falling off the treadmill had me in a cold sweat. I was in panic mode. I kept thinking to myself ‘what is the worst thing that could happen? You fall off the treadmill’ and since I was pretty sure falling off a treadmill wouldn’t kill me I decided to push through.

Guess what? I did it. Not fall off the treadmill…I actually jogged. On 6 separate occasions. For 30 second intervals. It was crazy. I don’t know the last time I pushed myself so hard. It was great. It was scary and wonderful all at the same time. I want to do it again…tomorrow. I was so scared of walking in there and being judged or falling or failing that I almost convinced myself to turn around and go home. Do you know what stopped me, you. More than anything I didn’t want to disappoint you. I have spent many years being disappointed in myself but the thought of having to come here and admit that not only did I fail- I straight out didn’t try- well that was enough to make do it. It felt so amazing to walk away from that gym feeling proud of myself and lucky to have the world’s best cheerleaders behind me. You guys rock!

Oh, and also, I couldn’t help but think that my fat ass jogging on the treadmill sounded like charging rhinos but I didn’t care. I just turned up the volume on my iPod very loud. I couldn’t hear it and I really didn’t care what anyone else thought. More than likely they didn’t care either!

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February 25, 2011. Tags: , , , . obesity.

3 Comments

  1. hookerchick replied:

    You go girl!!! That’s awesome!!!

  2. jakennicksmomma replied:

    Yay!!! Im so happy to hear about your success.

  3. Dacia replied:

    Thanks girls! Your support means so much!

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