Some of the things that I miss…

There has never been a time over the last 8 years, or so, where I was happy about being overweight. I know, it’s hard to believe, but there really isn’t a plus side (no pun intended) to being this size. Since I have started this blog I have spent more time reflecting on my life and my goals than I ever had before. One of things I often think about is how good I will feel as I get closer to making my weight loss goal. I think about all of the things I will be able to do, and buy, once I have shed the weight. So today’s post is dedicated to some of the things I miss, or miss out on, because I am fat.

I really miss being able to shop in regular stores. It sucks being in Gap, Old Navy or J. Crew with Paul while he is shopping and looking around knowing that I can’t fit into anything they sell. Not only does it stink not being able to buy anything, I also get anxiety just standing in these stores waiting on Paul because I feel like people are looking at me wondering what the heck I am doing there- knowing there is nothing that I could fit in.

To make matters worse, the stores that are available for plus sizes are expensive and most of the clothes they sell are tacky. From looking at some of the fabric print choices I think the designers believe that all fat women are 70 year olds living in South Beach. Either that or they think that all plus size girls want to show off their cleavage- enough with the plunging necklines already!

I have even given up on ever getting dressed up for special occasions. Luckily for me I live in Texas and people wear jeans everywhere- even to fancy restaurants- but if there ever was the occasion that required formal wear I would be screwed. Shopping for fraternity and sorority events in college was tough enough when I was on the low end of plus size but now it would be next to impossible to find something nice. Message to all my single friends- no weddings until I lose at least 50 pounds!

This journey is not all about clothes or shopping although they are a big part of it as I am required by law to wear them every time I exit my house. Ultimately, this journey is about getting my life back and making it the life I want. I think about all of the things I wasn’t able to do, or my insecurity kept me from doing, in the past. They play a big part of my goals.

When we lived in Washington Paul and I went camping at Mt. Rainier with three of our friends. It was so beautiful and we had so much fun but when they all set out hiking I stayed at camp. I used some excuse to keep me from participating because I didn’t think I was strong enough to hike and didn’t want to be embarrassed. Hiking is a big thing out in Washington and Paul would go out with groups of people on weekend hikes but I always stayed behind. I wish I would have at least tried.

It’s not just the big things I miss. Today, a friend of mine was telling me about her weight loss journey (65 lb. lost so far- amazing) and said that she is happy that she doesn’t get winded just going up a flight of steps anymore. I can definitely relate. Every morning I trek up a flight of stairs to get to my desk and hope that I don’t run into anyone in the 2-3 minutes after that who wants to talk. I don’t want people to see me out of breath. It is one thing to be out of breath on a treadmill while exercising, another thing to be out of breath doing something routine. It is amazing the impact even the little things can have on your life.

As I continue on each day I try to think of these things and how different my life will be when they are no longer a factor. Maintaining a healthy weight is important to me but only if I can also have a healthy and active lifestyle. What good is being skinny if I still can’t hike with friends or go out for a run with Paul?

Thanks for reading!

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March 8, 2011. Tags: , , , , , . Diet, Life, Social Life.

4 Comments

  1. jamesandjax replied:

    My favorite line = “Maintaining a healthy weight is important to me but only if I can also have a healthy and active lifestyle.”

    I’m at a healthy weight for my size. But I, too, find myself out of breath after climbing up stairs sometimes. And I get tired so easily. Not healthy. And definitely not convenient since I live with a crazy-active toddler.

    I can’t say it enough–you’re an inspiration & I love that you share these thoughts on your blog. I just wish I’d read your blog first thing in the morning instead of mid-day or at night. Then maybe I’d be able to say no to the snacks I eat at work. Today I had two rather thick chocolate chunk brownies at work, and they day isn’t done yet. It’s terrible.

    How do you stay motivated to say no to junk food during the work day? I think I need to make sure I have NO CASH for vending machines, for starters. But how do you resist the junk your co-workers bring in? Or do you just practice moderation? I need some practical tips, dear! 🙂

    • I Lost Over 100 Pounds replied:

      I definitely need to work on the exercise portion of my life change.

      I was reading another blog today and the guy has before after picks that are amazing.

      What set me off was he now weight 197. Well I weigh 201 and wow, I look like I weight 100 pounds more than him.

      So I really need to get my bike and hit it hard. Probably need to add more shaping exercises too.

      The Grumpy Man

  2. I Lost Over 100 Pounds replied:

    I’ve had the same issues with clothing.

    Now I have a new issue. I am too small for the Big & Tall stores but I am too big for most regular stores. Some have a shirt or pair of pants here and there that fit me but they mainly stock 38 and down. I’m still about a 40 to 42.

    Old Navy does have larger sizes online as do many of the major chains so I guess I need to shop online for a few months.

    I actually don’t want to buy any thing else since in 3 months it won’t fit anyway. Just hope the current pants I have can fit a few more months. 😀

    It is a great feeling and I hope your diet gets you back down to the regular stores.

    The Grumpy Man

  3. jakennicksmomma replied:

    You are going to be shopping in any and every store before you know it. I remember what a great feeling it was knowing that I no longer could find anything that would fit at Lane Bryant. Im back up a bit, but Im cutting myself a little slack…lol.

    You keep me so motivated to do better. Thank you!

    Keep up the good work!

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