Thought-provoking Thursday

I am stealing today’s post concept from my super awesome friend JH. On a side note, she is also a fantastic writer and you should check out her blog James & Jax. Her post today directed readers to the list of 365 thought-provoking questions from Marc and Angel Hack Life. Here are my provoked thoughts to the first five. 😉

When was the last time you tried something new?

This question is difficult because I consider myself a quasi-adventurous person who likes to try new things. Heck, I even tried a new scent of deodorant just last month but I am guessing this is not what they had in mind when asking this question. The biggest new thing I have tried would have to be my lifestyle right now. I am following a diet, working out (when physically able to), blogging, really focusing on starting a family,  trying to stay better connected with friends, and taking advantage of every opportunity that comes my way- really just trying to be a better me, which is new for me. I don’t know if I have ever cared this much about myself.

Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?

This question sucks because I am ashamed of the answer. I really tend to compare myself to other army wives, or I guess wives in general. For whatever reason, single girls don’t intimidate me the way married women do. I am weird like that.

It is no secret that I have insecurities about my weight. That insecurity really brings the worst out in me, especially when it comes to meeting new people. When I meet another wife I size her up; pretty, skinny, educated, does she have a career, etc- it’s basically my scorecard to see how I match up. In my head I am thinking, well she may be pretty and skinny but she is stupid and boring. For me, there is this need to find something that I have that she doesn’t in order to feel comfortable enough to participate socially. It’s kind of like creating a level playing field. Except for the fact that for me to feel that way I turn into a critical and judgmental person which is awful behavior I am not proud of.

I used to say how embarrassed it made me to go to the gym because of everyone judging me, thinking I was disgusting. I see the hypocrisy. I do to others exactly what I fear they are doing to me but it ends now. I have really been trying to be happier and more loving of myself. Now that I am starting to accept the fact that I am a truly great person as is, I can stop comparing myself to others just to make me feel better. I will instead just continue to put the best version of me out there and if you don’t like it too bad. The time has come to end my self-deprecating behaviors.

What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say?

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein

This is my motto for the life-changing journey I am on. I really was stuck in a rut. Hating myself for where my life was going yet not doing anything to change it. All of my behaviors that got me to that point were the same but yet I was expecting things to change, expecting a different outcome, without putting in the time and energy to do so. This quote is basically the premise of my blog. It was the thought stuck in my head when I finally realized I needed to change if I wanted to see change.

What gets you excited about life?

The uncertainty of life is what excites me most. It also scares the shit out of me but mostly it is exciting. I love not knowing what the future holds for me, it makes me feel like anything is possible. It also makes me feel like I am the one controlling my future, it is all on me to make the life that I want- it is attainable.

Also, my life excites me about life. My new perspective, part of which is making sure I am not passing up new adventures, really gets me excited for each day. I am trying to live life to the fullest and if I don’t like something, I will try to change it instead of letting it drag me down. 

What life lesson did you learn the hard way?

I would have to say the life lesson I learned the hard way is the value of a dollar. I am not saying that things came easy for me when I was a child. I worked while I was in high school and although my parents gave me a happy and comfortable childhood I don’t think I would have considered myself spoiled. No, my lesson stemmed from my abuse of credit cards in college and grad school and the stupid things I spent money on. I was not only naïve to think it would be easy to pay them off but I also acted like the things I bought were necessities when the reality of it was most of my purchases I could have lived without.

I am glad to have experienced the trauma of being flooded with credit card debt; it helped me create a better perspective on what I need versus what I want. It also taught me not to be so wasteful with my money, to save for things I want, and the importance of a budget. It makes me very happy to say that it has been three and a half years without using a credit card and six months ago we finally paid off our last credit card. Yay us! I do not in any way judge people who have credit cards. For us it was all about needing to break out of the habit of using them to live off of. Yes, we do still sometimes buy things that are definitely more wants than needs but knowing that the money is coming out of our checking and/or savings account makes us evaluate every spending decision first instead of mindlessly putting it on credit cards. That in itself was the hardest part and I am so proud that we were able to get to this point.

That about wraps up the Q&A session for the day, my lunch break is over. As always, thanks for reading! I love you guys!