Thought-Provoking Thursday

Questions courtesy of Marc and Angel Hack Life

What personal prisons have you built out of fears?

Being obese really messed with my head. Over the last few years I found it harder being around new people or being in public settings alone, really any situation where I thought people would be judging me. I had such anxiety whenever I knew I would be around strangers it made it hard to force myself to go out. I thought they would look at me and not want to be around me because I was fat or worse I thought that people would make fun of me around Paul and then he would be embarrassed to be married to such a disgusting person. It was hard and even though I still managed to be somewhat social it was always a psychological battle for me just leaving the house. I had let these (mostly irrational) fears keep me imprisoned in my mind. I couldn’t relax or be myself; I was trapped inside my mind focusing only on how I thought others viewed me.

It’s still hard for me to meet new people or be around strangers but every time I start to get anxious I quickly force myself to let it go. I mean seriously, if someone is judging me based off my weight, if they are disgusted by me, then they aren’t someone I would want to be around in the first place. A wise man once said,*”be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” and I couldn’t agree more.

*Dr. Suess

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?

I really would like to live abroad. I would settle for a life where I at least traveled more but it’s not the same. I want to be able to assimilate myself into a new culture, a new lifestyle. I don’t want to be a tourist, I would much rather be an ex-pat.

Why are you, you?

Short answer: a combination of nurture and nature has made me this person

Long answer: I am me because of everything that has happened and everyone I have known leading up to this point today. Being raised by hippies has given me a passive, non-violent temperament. Growing up surrounded by loud, talkative Italians has transformed me into a loud, talkative Italian. Living in/near a large city as a child has exposed me to many different cultures and lifestyles which showed me acceptance and understanding. Having failed many times has taught me to fight for my successes. Having the most wonderful, supportive, kind-hearted friends has made me supportive and kind in turn. Having dogs who love me unconditionally have taught me to love unconditionally. Having a husband that is also my best friend has taught me the importance of love, strength, compromise, respect, friendship and fun in relationships.

If you haven’t achieved it yet what do you have to lose?

I read this quote today and it immediately made me think of this question.

“People are afraid to pursue their dreams because they feel that they don’t deserve them.” – Paulo Coelho

The only thing we have to lose is that voice inside our head telling us we can’t.

What three words would you use to describe the last three months of your life?

I love me.

In my Nia class Tuesday our routine was called ‘Birthday’ and it was focused around the gifts that Nia gives us. These gifts are personal and we were asked to think about them as we danced. The gift Nia has given me is self-love. It was something I was lacking and it was greatly impacting my life. I never cared enough about myself to take care of myself properly. I don’t think I deserved to be more than what I was. Now I see things differently, I can have whatever life I want and be whomever I want as long as I commit my time and energy to getting there. I am worth the effort though, that is something I never understood before.

Although I would love hearing your responses it is probably inconsiderate to ask you to leave me your answers to the above questions. Maybe for fun you can leave me a comment with the three words to best describe the last three months of your life.

Thanks for reading!

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August 18, 2011. Tags: , , , , , . thought-provoking thursday.

9 Comments

  1. lookaroundyounow replied:

    Hi Dacia,

    Thanks for your post. It is hard to come up with three words to describe the last three months of my life… I am tempted to say ‘really really tired’. (I have 1 year old twins who are growing rapidly…) Maybe I should say “something is emerging” because that is what I have been feeling lately, although I cannot for the life of me tell you what. I hope to find out someday.

    Cheers,
    Nin

    • Dacia replied:

      I hope to find out what is emerging! Very exciting even if you don’t quite know what is in the works.

      Twin one year olds sounds exhausting but I am sure you love every minute of it 🙂

  2. Steph...In Motion replied:

    Very thoughtful post. Sounds very similar to some things in my head. I had the same dread of meeting new people. I’m glad I’ve gained confidence at an even faster rate than I’ve lost weight. And I’m actively working to live abroad when I graduate. In my 20s I joined the Army to live in Germany, but all I saw was Texas. 🙂

    The last 3 months…research, run, read.

    • Dacia replied:

      Where were you stationed in Texas? You aren’t in the army now though, right? We are hoping the army takes us overseas but right now it has only taken us to Texas, too. Funny.

      It’s good to know that other people have the same fears. Also good knowing that we can work through it and gain some self-confidence and self-love needed to not let the fear control us.

  3. kitchentutor replied:

    Love the Dr. Seuss quote 🙂 It’s one of my favorites! Three words to describe the last 3 months of my life… La Vida Loca… between moving and finding out I’m pregnant with our third and the Iowa heat and humidity and dealing with trying to get internet back and missing my blog friends!!!!… I’m finally thankful for a boring day 😉

    • Dacia replied:

      Hmmm…I feel like I didn’t know about you being pregnant. Did I? Congratulations! That is amazing and it definitely must be a bit crazy with everything you have going on right now. Yay! I’m excited for you! Any weird cravings in the previous pregnancies?

  4. Simply Sidney replied:

    really great post!! Of course it hits a soft spot for me, a spot I’ve been working on. I think that by putting some effort in me has helped me to want to get back out and enjoy life again, for me. Dr. Seuss was a genius!! My 3 words have to be: challenge, effort and growth

  5. jakennicksmomma replied:

    This was a great post. I have been thinking about what my three words would be since I read it yesterday.

    Tired, Satisfied, Growing

    I started to write out why, and realized I had a little too much for a comment, so I am writing a post with my explanation 😉

  6. Three Words « jakennicksmomma replied:

    […] my friend Dacia wrote a post on her blog ThirtyThreeandCounting answering some questions for Thought-Provoking Thursday. One in particular had me thinking a […]

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