Thought-Provoking Thursday: 95 Questions, Part 4

Here is the final set of questions from Marc and Angel Hack Life’s 95 Questions to Help You Find Meaning and Happiness. Before I get started with my answers I wanted to share some thoughts I had with you. I have already found my happiness although it did take some time finding it. This year I have learned that happiness is self-imposed. Happiness cannot be given to us by things or by others; it is an emotional state we all have the choice to be in. I choose to be happy but I was unable to access that emotion until I removed the barriers standing in my way. I needed to learn acceptance. Acceptance for who I am today not for the person I hope to be in the future. I needed to realize that I am good enough, strike that, I am freaking awesome as is. Just because I am not at an ideal weight doesn’t make me less of a person. I still love, am kind to others, lend a helping hand when needed, I am a shoulder to cry on or a warm embrace, and I have always treated my friends like family. I was and am awesome, and I have accepted that. With that acceptance came self-love as I learned to cherish this body and treat myself with the respect I deserved. I also needed to forgive myself for getting to a place where I was so unhappy with myself and the life I was leading, where I was unhealthy and wasting my life. Yes, it would have been nice if I never made all of those poor decisions that lead me here but I feel like it was the path I was meant to be on. Not only do I now have this blog and a world of amazing people I get to share my life with, I have also learned to not take of this for granted and to appreciate every day as the gift it is. Forgiveness, acceptance, and love made it so I could access my happiness and I do so every day. What is standing between you and your happiness?
The other goal of these posts was for me to find meaning in my life. It says on my page (on this blog) that I am just trying to make my mark on the world which some days it was hard to feel like that would ever happen. I used to think that I was just another person, just living my life, and that I really didn’t have much impact on others. This was especially true when I would think about my friends. My friends have lots of friends so why do they need me? Am I really an important part of their life? Would their world be any different if I wasn’t a regular part of it? Sometimes it was hard to feel like I mattered, like I was important to others. Now as I have grown and learned more about myself I see now how important I really am. I don’t mean that in an ‘I’m so important, more important than you’ type of way I mean that in the ‘I am important and so are you’ type of way. What I am trying to get at is that realizing my importance, my true self-worth, has given me meaning in my life. Being a good wife, daughter, and friend is the meaning of my life. Being there for those who matter most to me is the meaning of my life. Inspiring others and helping people find the meaning of their life is the meaning of my life. Being inspired by others to change, progress, break down personal barriers, and truly live is the meaning of my life. I hope you know, or choose to find, the meaning of yours.
Now, onto the questions J
1. What’s something you would do every day if you could? Read. I love to read but it’s just not that high on my priority list right now. I try to make time to read at night but that doesn’t happen daily but I hope that one day it will.
2. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? I think that would be after my Nia White Belt Intensive, after the graduation ceremony, when we were all dancing and celebrating together. It just reaffirmed my love for Nia, how much joy it brings me, and how lucky I am for the wonderful community I have to share it with.
3. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Definitely never trying. If we try and fail at least we can learn from the experience and that can help us find success in the end. Failure also teaches us perseverance, dedication, strength, and courage.
4. What makes you feel incomplete? There are times when Paul is away when I have no communication with him whatsoever. I am not a big fan of that. Its one thing when he is away and we can still talk on the phone it is another when I have no way to reach him and having no idea when I will hear from him. I feel incomplete when I can’t share my day with Paul and he can’t share his with me.
5. When did you experience a major turning point in your life? I know you all have heard me say how this journey has changed my life and it’s true. It really has changed my life but I want to tell you about something you might not have known- a major event in my life that changed my world very dramatically. My best friend committed suicide on January 2nd, 1998 and that was by far the worst day of my life. Jed had dealt with depression the whole time we were friends and had attempted suicide before. He had a lot of demons he was battling, as was I at the time, and I tried to be there for him best I could. I was 19 years old when he died. My world was shattered. I had no idea how to handle his death or the guilt I felt because of it. Even now as the anniversary approaches I think of the New Year’s Eves we spent together and the fun times we had growing up and it breaks my heart that he could never find the strength he needed to survive. I wish he was still with us every day. He was an amazing, kind, loving, funny, warm and friendly guy who didn’t have a single enemy. Just an overall lovable guy. It breaks my heart that I couldn’t have done more.
6. What or who do you wish you lived closer to? Don’t get me wrong, I love moving to new places and making new friends but I really do miss living in Philly. So I would definitely say my friends in the Philly/NJ area as well as all of the friends I made while living in Florida, Ohio and Washington and of course all the wonderful people I have met through this blog, twitter, Facebook, and the Weight Watchers online community. I wish I lived near you all (if you are reading this you are definitely included in that list 😉 ) so I could give you a big hug and thank you in person for all of your love and support.
7. If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be? Anything is possible if you just believe
8. What’s something you know you can count on? The people in my life. They are always there for me through thick and thin.
9. What makes you feel comfortable? Familiar situations although I should add that I am getting more comfortable in unfamiliar situations now too.
10. What’s something about you that has never changed? I don’t wear makeup regularly. Even in high school I had to have my neighbor put on my makeup for me on prom night. I never got into wearing makeup and the skills required to do so were never developed. Now when I do wear makeup (maybe once a year at most) I kind of look like a hooker. I seriously need help being a girl. LOL!
11. What will be different about your life in exactly one year? Probably many things. Probably many things I don’t even realize could happen. In a year so many things happen. I would say that for sure in a year my life will be different because I will have taught a Nia (hopefully multiple) class. I can’t wait to learn my first routine and start sharing Nia with others.
12. What mistakes do you make over and over again? I put my shirts in the hamper inside out. My socks go in the hamper either inside out, inside my pant legs, or both. It kind of drives Paul crazy. I don’t do intentionally though.
13. What do you have a hard time saying “no” to? Vegan cupcakes from Green. Those little suckers are freaking fabulous. Paul and I get one to go very time we are there and then split it later. I had a red velvet one on Tuesday which was a little bite of heaven. My favorite so far was the mint chocolate cupcake. What can I say; I have always been a sucker for cupcakes. .
14. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? At first I started writing that every day I am doing what I believe in but that’s not entirely true. I can think of things in my life that I settle for in order to be able to do what I believe in. Does that make sense? Like there are aspects I settle for in order for me to do other things I believe in.
15. What’s something that used to scare you, but no longer does? I used to have terrible anxiety particularly when I was in a car as a passenger. I used to have severe panic attacks any time we would be driving in bad weather. Now, not so much. So I guess my fear would have been dying in a car accident and now don’t have those reactions when I am in a car.
16. What promise to yourself do you still need to fulfill? The promise that one day I will be a mother.
17. What do you appreciate most about your current situation? I appreciate the fact that it allows me to live such a great life. We have enough money for me to afford two gym memberships and take all kinds of crazy classes and buy new clothes when needed and try out new recipes and buy fresh foods. We are not rich by any means but we do have enough to allow me to live this new lifestyle. I should note that taking a job that paid me 40% more than my previous employer definitely helped. I also appreciate the fact that I live in a city that has a great boxing studio and yoga studio where I can take classes, weekly year-round farmers markets, multiple grocery stores that have vegan friendly options and vegan friendly restaurants makes my life really great.
18. What’s something simple that makes you smile? Hugs. I am big on hugging. Just ask my French roommate from college. The French aren’t really huggers but I got her into the habit pretty quickly.
19. So far, what has been the primary focus of your life? I would have to say my career. Undergrad and grad school, co-ops, internships, and assistantships. Working since I was 14 and now when I make big decisions I always question how it will affect my career. Leaving a great management position in Philly and going back into an analyst role in Texas was a big change for me (financially and career-wise) but I have moved forward and continue to try to progress my career.
20. How do you know when it’s time to move on? When things just don’t feel right. If a person or a situation makes you feel bad or bad about yourself it is time to cut ties and move on.
21. What’s something you wish you could do one more time? Get married again and I don’t mean to a different person. I just mean I would like to have another ceremony and this time invite all my friends and family. Paul and I got married at a small chapel in Florida with 5 of our friends present. My parents were going through an awful divorce (random thing about my parents is that they got divorced and then a couple years later started dating each other. They now live together but are not married to each other) and Paul and I didn’t want to deal with any family drama so we just had a quick little ceremony.
22. When you’re 90-years-old, what will matter to you the most? The memories I have made.
23. What would you regret not fully doing, being, or having in your life? I will regret not ever finding a way to have children.
Thanks for reading!

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December 29, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , . inspiration, Life, thought-provoking thursday.

2 Comments

  1. NewVeronica2011 (@NewVeronica2011) replied:

    Thank you for sharing your questions and answers with us. You opened up to us and I feel like I know you even better and feel very lucky to call you a friend. You’re an amazing person and inspire many with your positive & winning attitude. Congratulations to you for all your successes, you deserve them and more!

    • Dacia replied:

      Thank you so much Veronica! I enjoy sharing with you! I truly believe I am able to maintain this positive attitude because I surround myself with so many positive influences- like you- that keep me headed in the right direction. It’s amazing how much of an impact having a support team has had. It’s good to know I am never alone! Love you!

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