Bad Habits Come Creeping Back In

It’s been about six weeks since I reached my lowest weight of 173 pounds. That was before I left for vacation. Since then I have bounced between 173.2 all the way up to 178 and it has been nothing short of frustrating.

Yes, I knew that vacation would bring forth a gain- which it did. And that it wouldn’t take long to lose the weight, which it didn’t. But then I got sick. I fell out of routine. And bad habits started creeping back in.

So, I bounced. That weight jumped back and forth and the more that 173 evaded me the harder I found it to make good choices.

Ok, that’s not entirely true. I was making good choices. They were just surrounded by bad choices.

Like I would kill it at the gym and then later go crazy with my eating and not track.

Or I would make good food choices but I wasn’t getting in any activity.

So I wasn’t shocked that my weight kept fluctuating.

I was, however, shocked by the habits that started to come back as the frustration increased.

My worst habit by far- eating when I am not hungry.

Perfect example was last Saturday. I woke up, got in a great workout. Had a healthy breakfast and lunch and made great decisions to set me up for a successful evening at a friend’s house where I would be drinking lots of home-brewed beer and eating foods not prepared by me.

To help survive the smorgasbord that would be there I prepared a healthy, nutrient dense wheat berry and chickpea salad. I knew if I could eat this and limit the portions on the other foods I would be ok.

But that’s not what happened. I ate and ate and ate. Even when I was no longer hungry. All because the foods were new and oh so yummy and because I easily revert back to bad habits when alcohol is involved and that is not a good thing.

Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s ok to have a night of fun like that (with slightly less indulgence) as long as the next day I go back to eating like a normal person.

But I don’t. That’s where my struggle lies. Saturday was fun. We had a fabulous time with friends. I didn’t make the best decisions but that’s life. It happens. I move on.

But Sunday found me making the same mistakes- having a big, hearty brunch and then eating samosas just an hour or so later (not even slightly hungry) because they looked yummy and were in front of my face. I regretted eating them not because of the points, which I tracked, but because I felt like I was losing control of my mindful eating practice. I was letting the food control me, not the other way around.

I told Paul about how pissed I was that after a year I am still making bad decisions and he said that I need to look at it differently. I’ve had that habit for a very long time, far longer than a year, so it should come as no surprise when that habit comes through and causes me to make bad decisions.

I guess that’s true.

Although I don’t want it to be. I like to think I’m different now. I like to think those habits are gone.

Maybe we are both right. Maybe that urge will always be there, that temptation from food which leads me to overindulge. But maybe it’s lessened.

Or maybe I just have the tools now to help me make better decisions that allow me to keep that temptation at bay.

Most of the time, at least 😉

Thanks for reading!

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March 15, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , . Weight Loss, Weight Watchers.

8 Comments

  1. jakennicksmomma replied:

    I know how you feel 100%. Ever since the holiday’s I have had a hard time consistently making good choices. Sure, I will be good for a week, but then something will happen and I will revert. Hang in there, don’t beat yourself up to much! You inspire me to be better!

  2. Latina Barbi replied:

    I teeter totter after losing 8 lbs then it takes me about 5 weeks to go back down… I think our bodies are adjusting..
    muah!

  3. Meredith Clark (@meredithclark) replied:

    Dacia, you write the most open and engaging blog. Thank you so much.

    I also struggle with bad habits creeping back in, namely, eating out of frustration or as a reward/release after surviving my tough days at school. I encourage you to do what you’re doing – staying aware. It was when I let my awareness slip that I *really* began to gain weight. It took 35+ pounds for me to finally check myself.

    Keep working. You’re doing great, and you ARE winning this battle.

  4. Shrinking Carrie replied:

    Story of my life! Although, I seemed to have gained a lot more weight than I thought I would, and I can’t wait until the stress subsides and life gets somewhat back to normal.
    It still sounds like you are doing great, and can get back on track because of all of those good habits that you have been forming. Stand strong!!!

  5. The Busy Crab replied:

    Dacia — This is exACTly what I’ve been struggling with forever, and especially in the last 3 weeks. Although it is common to reach plateaus, it’s becoming more and more clear to me that several missteps on my part have caused much of the issue.

    I’ve hovered at the same weight for a very long time. Reading that you and others face the same, help me pull myself up by the bootstraps and recommit, regularly. Healthy choices take effort and time — as does anything truly important in Life — and I need to remind myself of that.

    And when I forget to remind myself, I’ve got you! 🙂

  6. Erica Zamsky Hunt (@MommaHunt16) replied:

    I know how you feel…for me it has been the last few weeks since New Years I have been “doing weight watchers” and really what that means is not giving it my all. I need to get back to good habits. I also struggle with figuring out what is realistic for me in my real life. THe last time i lost weight and was sucessful I wasn’t really eating too healthy and going to the gym 6 days a week for two hours at a time. Add a hubby and now two kids to that…the gym is likely to see my bootie twice a week during the school year! Hang in there and we are always here to listen, vent,and support.

    On a slighlty related note, love the suit!

  7. Carbaholic Mama (@CarbaholicMama) replied:

    I love your honesty Dacia! Thank you for the reminder that the bad habits can easily come creeping back to haunt us, no matter if we’re two weeks or two years into a weight loss journey. You can do it! Give that bad habit another swift kick to the curb! 🙂

  8. sweetopiagirl replied:

    Reblogged this on Inspiredweightloss.

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